one down, many more to go

my first week went by really fast. i think i hit the ground running. and i hope the man agrees. right now all i want to do is focus on working hard. i want to work hard, learn hard and excel far. i know i can do it and i know he wants me to do it. so right now, my future there is up to me. i cannot fuck this up.

i've noticed that i've become intolerant to bullshit and stupidity. looking back, i realize this is a recent phenomena because i really used to entertain some bullshit and stupidity in the past. the key thing that has me thinking about this was my conversation with l this morning about my non-family. she asked me if i regretted the whole thing happening in the first place. absolutely not. they are full of shit. all the non sense and unforgivable things that has happened in the past has been completely swept under the carpet. for them to harp on the incident between g and i is their decision. to me, they are dead.

i better go and get my day started. lots to do!


the end

the title of this post is the end. instead of focusing on a "new beginning" for 2009, i am going to focus on the end of a very rough year. i didn't blog at all in 2008 and i am very happy that i didn't. it is a year that i would like to completely forget all together. in one year i lost 5 people that i loved with all my heart; 2 of them will forever have it, 2 of them i wish i had never given it to them and the last will never lose it again. with that being said, i will lock the events of 2008 -both good and bad- in a box and burry it in the deep abyss of my soul.

now that i have gotten through the dramatics, i can begin to write about the true reason why i have returned to blogging. initially, i just wanted to start journaling again. i even went journal shopping today. when i thought about it, i figured blogging would be so much easier, especially on my fingers. maybe i'll be more consistent this way. around 2007, i met a group of women who blog. some of them have been dedicated bloggers for 2 years now. i wonder if i could ever be that committed to entertaining a bunch of strangers? i doubt it. i've come to accept that i don't like people. especially new ones. and i've also come to accept that people don't like me. and i am okay with that. i digress. digressing will be a reoccurring theme.

this is for me. i hope to find it as therapeutic as writing in a traditional journal. i also hope to be able to look back on this at the end of the year and reflect on my growth.

right now, it is 1:15 am i am up. i cannot sleep. i'm thinking about a few things:
(1) i have adapted NBP's bad habit of being a night owl. i now stay up super late and sleep in until around 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
(2) i cannot sleep in tomorrow this morning. i start a new project and i am somewhat excited about it. i am excited about the opportunity and all, but not excited enough to have ironed my clothes and prepare my briefcase.
(3) i have a ton of work to do. i absolutely cannot mope around and indulge myself in self-pity any longer. it's the end to that too. i have got to crank out these kid's applications and deliver the things i promised.
(4) my foot is falling asleep.

and now, it is the end of this post. i think i've gotten enough off my mind for now and maybe i will be able to go to sleep. if i cannot sleep, i guess i'll go exercise.


hot guy who cooks

please, tell me where i can find this man!

Steve Lewis
Age: 24
Status: Single
Occupation: Chemistry Professor in Training

Stephen enjoys working out, solving Jumble puzzles and looking through his telescope. If you decide to pay him a visit for a little stargazing, be advised: Visitors to his house must remove their shoes before entering.

Seared Ahi Tuna
Fresh ahi tuna
Black pepper
Cayenne pepper
Garlic powder
Lemon juice
Orange and yellow bell peppers
Olive oil

Marinate the ahi overnight in a mixture black pepper, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, salt and lemon juice. Slice the bells peppers and grill with garlic and black pepper until softened. Lay a bed of arugula on one side of the plate. Place sliced tomatoes over the arugula, then lay thinly sliced avocado over the tomatoes. Sprinkle with salt, olive oil and lemon juice. Once the bell peppers are done, sear the tuna using a nonstick pan: Grease the pan with olive oil and bring to medium heat; cook each side of the tuna until outer layer is cooked, leaving the inner portion raw. (About 1-2 minutes depending on the heat of the pan and thickness of the fish.) Slice the ahi in 1/2-inch slices and lay over the grilled peppers. Serve with pinot grigio or fume blanc for optimum pleasure!

hot guys who cook


dear santa

update: i got everything except the elliptical.

my e-friend, jenny, inspired me to start thinking about my christmas list to santa. okay, i lie. i've been thinking about what i'm going to ask santa for. There is a very slim chance that santa will read my blog, but just in case, it's always safe to be crystal clear.

dear santa,

i hope this letter reaches you in a generous spirit. i don't need to remind you on how good of a girl i've been this year. so, i'll keep this letter short and cut to the chase. i'd appreciate the following items delivered on christmas morning. i'm not picky, so you can either stuff it down my chimney or leave it on my door step. either way works well for me.

(1) the precor new efx5.33 elliptical with movable arms and adjustable cross ramp will get my buns in shape in no time. 30 minutes a day on this baby will have me looking (even more) bootylicious in no time. no more driving to the gym or waiting for equipment after a long day! you can even use it to!

(2) i always ask myself, "why don't i have the piece that started the speedy family off"? i know you like to buy me the latest prints, but this year, i just want the original gangster monogram canvas speedy 35.

(3) need i say anything about the apple iPhone?

(4) last, but certainly not least, a french beret. i've been wearing this old one that belonged to my grandmother 24 years ago. i love it, but the moth holes are a little distracting.

and, thank you for the early package i received yesterday. i love my new boots!

with love, joe


the randomness of the holidays

the holiday season is here and along with it comes family, family and some more family. since my family is particularly entertaining, it was fun.

i spent thanksgivng day at my grandmother and feasted on traditional belizean food with an american twist (turkey). now, most central americans hate the traditional way a thanksgiving turkey is prepared. maybe we're not doing it right, but i prefer our way anyway. i can't cook, so i can't tell you how to make it, but i can show you.



my aunt was ordained as a woman of the cloth this past weekend. although i am not a big fan of church, it was a wonderful experience to see her become ordained. i really couldn't imagine going to church on a regular basis. i get way too generous. i just pledged an undisclosed amount of money to help with the media program. meh. this was the funniest random shot i took at the church. you'd never see this [stuff] in a white church.

after church, my cousins and i rushed home to get ready to go to the club. yes sir. the highly anticipated "all black affair" at the shatto (pronounced chateau) ballroom had arrived. i had been practicing the dutty wine for two weeks for this night. unfortunately, i did not master the dance. its okay. i'm working on the hot fuck for the bikini contest in belize. this is how we get down at the luxurious shatto ballroom! i hope my cousin, c, doesn't get too mad at me for this one...

the rest of the holiday was spent lounging around with some of my favorite people. don't put us in a house with a box of spanish cava, wine and baileys!


4 things

because i took so long to post the 8 facts about me, i'm going to do this bonus post even though i hadn't been tagged.

four jobs i have had in my life
1. student
2. girlfriend
3. research assistant
4. project manager for an i.t firm

four movies i can watch over and over and over
1. the wedding singer
2. 28 days later
3. 28 weeks later
4. shottas

four tv shows i like to watch
1. big shots
2. vh1 reality television [flavor of love, i love new york, etc.]
3. my super sweet 16
4. behind bars

four places i have vacationed
1. central america
2. south america
3. europe
4. africa

four of my favorite dishes
1. hawaiian rib eye [medium well] with garlic mashed potatoes
2. spicy salmon rolls with a side of endaname
3. nova scoitta lobster with garlic butter sauce and red cabbage coleslaw
4. traditional rice and beans [made with coconut milk], stewed ox tails and salad

four websites i visit daily (lately, "regularly" is more appropriate)
1. bossip
2. bankofamerica
3. wikipedia
4. guardian.co.uk

four places i would rather be
1. placencia
2. bordeaux
3. at my house, taking a nap
4. at the movies, watching kingdom

the baby mammas are clowning

SMH. shar jackson gets way more credit than she deserves. i mean, what did she do that was so special? she got knocked up and left by k-fed. letting k-fed hit it raw is far from being fame-worthy. but anyway, being the chick that got left for britney spears while 6 months pregnant got her some attention and she's using every last mili-second of her 15 minutes.

shar has been competing on vh1's celebrity rap superstar and has been doing an decent job. she does have an unfair advantage on the other competiors. you see, while the roster is mostly made up of d-list celebrities (reality tv and bloggers), shar has actually been trying to break into the music industry for some time now. so, she is a trained performer. i'm team kendra.

i'm just floored by her line: "they should of had me open the vmas".

britney, you've just been served. in the end, britney didn't end up with the man nor her kids. and shar is still spending her paper and making her own by riding on her coat tails.